Letters from Freddie
by Subject87
Summary: Set in the About a Son Universe, Carly moves into her new house and while unpacking finds a series of unsent letters written from the now deceased Freddie.


Carly trudged up the stairs of her new home, a nice little place she'd found within walking distance of her old school, with one hand on her stomach. She had found out three days ago she was pregnant, just a month after burying Freddie and saying her final goodbye. Now she had a constant reminder that he was gone... Part of her hated the child growing inside her for it but she refused to let those feelings overtake the love she already felt for Freddie Jr. (Or, if it was a girl, Sam).

The brunette woman headed through the second level of her new house to the attic where she had quite a few boxes to unpack (Something she was going to talk to Gibby and Spencer about helping with) sand went straight to a box marked "Freddie."

She quickly and carefully opened the box and began to some of the items out of it; his laptop, his camera, the blue remote that Sam had used on iCarly. She held the remote up to the light coming from the single window in the Attic and pushed a button which earned her a round of applause. "Still works." she muttered to herself as she put it aside with the other tech related things.

Finally she came upon a small wooden box and smiled fondly, this was the box she'd given him for his birthday a year ago. She ran had hands across the smooth wooden surface and shook her head softly as the box clicked open to reveal a collection of unsent letters.

She turned the first envelope over and smiled softly, it was Freddie's handwriting addressed to her old apartment in Bushwell Plaza. She carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the paper inside. The letter was dated late 2007, about two weeks after they'd started iCarly.

Carly,

I'm okay with living with that constant pain, I really am. I just wish you'd notice me as more than a friend, as more than just a boy with a camera for the web show we do. I also wish you'd back me up against Sam sometimes but I know she's your best friend and so I don't let that bother me to much. I hope one day you'll finally see me for what I really am... A boy that loves you.

Carly wiped her eyes clear of the tears that were starting to form "Freddie..." she muttered as she reread the short note, "Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell you that you are more than just the boy with a camera..." she muttered. She slipped the paper back into the envelope and put it back in the box neatly. The brunette then went through other letters, amazed at how many there were. She picked up one dated 2011 and frowned- That had been when Sam and Freddie had started dating...

Carly,

I know I told you I was okay with living with that constant pain but I don't know how much longer I can do it. I was happy for awhile, after the Taco Truck incident, and I like to think you were too. It doesn't matter anymore because I'm with Sam now, something I thought would never happen believe me. I'm not sure why I'm writing this, perhaps I'm trying to say goodbye, to move on from you.

It's not easy saying goodbye to a first love, and I'm not sure if I can do it if I'm being honest... Every time I kiss Sam all I think about is how it pales in comparison to the kisses we shared during that short time we were together. Do you still think about those days? I find myself thinking of them more and more, and I wonder if it's to late for you too love me... Maybe I'll ask one day, I wonder what your answer will be.

Goodbye Carly, I'm sorry I can't be more than just a friend

Carly bit back more tears, had she really pushed him that far? She'd never considered that Sam had been his attempt at moving on from her. "I'm sorry..." she muttered. The next letter was written on the day Sam and Freddie had broken up (the relationship hadn't last long, barely a week).

Carly,

I can't do it, I can't stay with her while I'm in love with you and I can't stop loving you, but you don't love me. So I guess I'll just keep writing these letters and hiding them where no one but me reads them. Sometimes I like to pretend you read these and I play out possible conversations and scenarios in my head- pathetic right? Anyway, I broke up with Sam and we kissed in the elevator till midnight and we said I love you, but it feels hollow when I tell her... Not like when I tell you, now I'm just waiting for the courage to tell you how I really feel.

The brunette put the letter back in the envelope, put it back in the box, and pulled out one more. This would be the last one she'd read for tonight. The letter was dated just two weeks after they'd gotten back together and it was in a much different tone than the previous ones.

Carly,

I can't believe it, we're together! I mean, I've been wanting this since I was eleven years old... I can't believe it, it took me awhile but I think it was worth it... And I'm not letting anyone tell me that it won't work, I've learned from my mistakes... Nothing's gonna tear us apart. I promise. I love you, and I always will... I know that now, you're meant for me. I can't wait for you to become Mrs. Carly Benson, I still have dreams about that y'know.

Love,

Freddie.

"Oh Freddie..." She muttered, wiping away her tears."I guess you finally found a promise you couldn't keep." she muttered to herself and headed downstairs to her bedroom after putting the last letter away and closing the box. She sat down on the bed, the box still in her hand and set the box down carefully on her nightstand next to the picture of Freddie and lay down. She had a interview for a news network tomorrow so she needed to get some sleep. "Goodnight Freddie." she said softly before falling asleep

* * *

**Note: **So here it is, my Creddie friday oneshot! I hope you guys like it, I don't own the rights to iCarly or anything related, I'm just a fanfic writer. Please R&R and please note this DOES take play in the About a Son timeline, and I tried to make it match up so I hope you enjoy!


End file.
